The Best Laid Plans
by Hitoko-sama
Summary: Kyuubi has a plot to get Naruto and Sasuke to have a threesome with him. And alcohol is the best means to do it. But you know what they say, the best laid plans of mice and men often go awry. Oneshot. UCHIHACEST! FOR SASUKE'S BIRTHDAY


**Okay so this is for Sasuke's birthday cause even though his lack of appearances in the manga is pissing me off, I still care for him!  
>Sasuke: I don't want a birthday fic, especially not by you<br>Me: D: But Sasuke, Itachi let me write him a birthday fic!  
>Itachi: I didn't let you do anything<br>Me:…There's only one thing left to do…Secret Art: Writer Persuasion… Sasuke, you want me to write you a fic. -waves hands like it's going to do something-  
>Sasuke: Yes, I do very much, Hitoko-sama. -in a daze-<br>Me: Awesome and Itachi, you wanna be in it, getting some action.  
>Itachi: HA! I'd want that anyway<br>Me: Then it's decided. -stops jutsu-  
>Sasuke: Damn it, when did she become a ninja?<br>Itachi: She's not a ninja, she's a writer…She has far more power than we do…  
>-<strong>

Sasuke was so bored he didn't even feel like he was breathing anymore. He had invited Naruto over almost an hour ago and the blond had arrived, as planned, and now all they were doing was sitting on the couch staring blankly at the TV screen waiting for something exciting to happen. Though it had come to be expected, especially due to recent circumstances. Naruto and Sasuke's new form of excitement came in different forms now, sexual forms. And frankly they could only blame both of their evil brothers for this ecstasy inducing curse. It had been planned by both older brothers to exploit their younger brothers' innocence and seduce them. It wasn't like it was against their will though, their secrets only attracted the older's even more so. But because of said secrets being revealed, they could barely get through the day without a good and exciting romp.

Naruto laid down across Sasuke's lap and sighed a little, the Uchiha patting him on the head like he was nothing more than a kitten. The blond turned his head away from the television as his phone started going off, blaring 'Peacock' by Katy Perry. Sasuke had come to know this song as Kyuubi's ringtone. More than fitting in Sasuke opinion since Kyuubi showing his said 'peacock' to Naruto was his method of seduction. The blond groaned as he grabbed the phone, still quite snuggled up in Sasuke's lap.

" Hello? This is the Arthur's World of Flapjacks and Syrup, how may I help you sir?(1)" Sasuke rolled his eyes and smirked a little as Naruto started to draw circles on the couch. " No sir, we don't serve fries or shakes(2). So I guess you're outta luck." There was a pause in Naruto's speech and Sasuke could only wish that Naruto had put his phone on speaker so he could mess with the red head as well. Their team efforts were always so much funnier. " Yeah, I'm at Sasuke's…No, we're not doing anything, why?…Oh, well shouldn't you ask Itachi and, I don't know, not me?…He's with you? Then why do you have to ask? Idiot brother… Whatevaaaaa! I'm awesome, you're just jealous." Sasuke felt so left out of the conversation especially since he had a feeling Kyuubi was planning something, which was extremely likely since that red headed demon was always planning something.

Naruto hung up the phone and sat up, rubbing the back of his head. Sasuke looked expectantly at the blond who had an almost confused look on his face; he blinked a couple times before opening his mouth. " I think I just agreed to us getting drunk."

" And I get no say in this?" Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow, in an annoyed fashion.

" Apparently not." Naruto muttered resting back on the couch. " Though Kyuubi told me to tell you that Itachi said, 'you're going to want to get drunk if Kyuubi's drinking'. And then Kyuubi got all mad and it was very amusing, but that's not important."

" I feel an evil plot coming on…" Sasuke muttered, rubbing the back of his head with a sigh. He leaned on Naruto and the blond put his arm around Sasuke's waist.

" You too? I was hoping I wasn't the only one thinking that, but what exactly could they be plotting this time? I mean they've already seduced us and I don't know about you, but Kyuubi and I are having sex regularly. Especially since we moved in together…"

Sasuke sighed a little. Itachi and him weren't having sex regularly because he was always 'too tired' since he had to deal with Kyuubi and work all day. Which had been more than acceptable the first few days but after a week passed and he only had sex with Itachi once, Sasuke felt as though he was going to explode with need. Even Naruto was starting to look more sexually attractive than usual, and dare he say it, Kyuubi too. His brother was leading him down some very dangerous roads.  
>-<p>

**TO THE OTHERS!**

Kyuubi hung up the phone and smirked over at Itachi would was driving the car. He had his stern, driving face on, which was probably one of his most scary faces. Itachi had quite possibly the worst case of road rage in the history of driving. And he was a speeder on top of that. Though, he was completely able to get out of every ticket he was going to receive because of his deadly good looks or his deadly demeanor in general.

Sometimes the red head wondered how in the name of Hell he became best friends with this man and how they had so much in common. But they were also very different, it made the friendship work almost better in Kyuubi's opinion. Though, there was something that was separating them at this moment and if Itachi knew about it, well, it would probably mean that Itachi would murder him. And not just once.

Kyuubi knew about Itachi's current situation and how he was abstaining from sex with Sasuke, though he didn't really want to. And unfortunately, that was almost working in Kyuubi's favor. And his goal could easily be recognized, a threesome with his little brother and Sasuke. It was the ultimate wet dream. The little Uchiha was so damn cute sometimes that he was almost cuter and more innocent than Naruto. But he knew under that demeanor there was a sex demon waiting to be released.

He almost wanted to laugh manically but he knew Itachi would catch onto him right away. Since they had spent so much time together during the seduction phase of their relationships with their little brothers, Itachi now knew of his evil laugh whenever he though of something perverse. So if he just happened to laugh like that now he would have to think of a bogus story on his feet, which was so not what he was good at. And there was always the added bonus that Itachi could tell when someone was lying at the drop of a hat. It was one of his 'Uchiha Powers', something Kyuubi was very weak against.

So for now Kyuubi had to keep his plans under wraps knowing that the alcohol he was planning to pump into their brothers' veins would be enough of an excuse to where Itachi would just maim him slightly. Walking away with one less arm was better than loosing his life completely.

" We're here." Itachi announced. Kyuubi was surprised that he didn't hear Itachi go off on one of his 'retarded driver' rants. It was like a strange miracle. Kyuubi opened the passenger door and went around back to the trunk where the alcohol was currently located. Itachi grabbed a twenty four pack and threw a brown paper bag to Kyuubi who was happy to carry the lighter of the two objects. Itachi also handed him his keys so he could unlock the door. The red head skipped happily to the door, opening it with glee. He was greeted with the sight of Sasuke and Naruto cuddling on the couch in the living room. He walked into the room, the two of them not noticing his presence, for they were far too enwrapped in the scary movie they were watching.

Itachi closed the door silently and notice the adorable scene in front of him. He slunk up next to Kyuubi, more silent than the very wind. The red head made a face for them to attack and Itachi nodded. They set the alcohol on the ground and got on the their knees, silently making their way to the feet of their brothers. Sasuke's feet were planted firmly on the ground where as Naruto's were dangling off the side of the couch since he was leaning on the Uchiha.

Naruto's grip on Sasuke tightened as the scene before them intensified. Even Sasuke seemed visibly tense. Itachi and Kyuubi watched the screen intently and the moment when the killer disappeared, making the stupid teenage girl nervous, was when the two of them decided to pounce, knowing that at the moment when they grabbed their feet, the intense music would pick up. And it did, making not only Naruto jump, but Sasuke too. Itachi grasped his brother's ankle, making the boy jump again and when he felt Naruto being pulled off of him and the blond screaming in terror, he screamed too. He reared his other foot back, right about to kick whoever his attacker was in the face and when the sensation on his ankle was gone the light was flicked on unexpectedly.

" You almost kicked me in the face Sasuke." Itachi stated matter-of-factly. And the Uchiha blushed a little realizing that it was his brother the entire time. He felt like such an idiot for being caught up in the stress of the moment. He usually didn't let horror movies get to him like that.

Naruto was still screaming beside him, kicking Kyuubi right in the face. When the blond finally realized what was happening, Kyuubi was already groaning with pain. Naruto laughed sheepishly as his older brother got to his feet, tackling the blond to the couch. Sasuke got up and walked over to Itachi, punching him in the shoulder.

" JERK!" He yelled. " That was terrifying! I thought I was getting attacked by someone!"

" Yeah! I thought it was the bleh, bleh, bleh!(3)" Kyuubi and Itachi both raised an eyebrow at the small blond and Sasuke just nodded his head, adding the confusion in the room.

" The bleh, bleh, bleh, is what Naruto calls every killer in each movie because he never pays attention to the parts that have the background information. Only the killing, stressful parts, which is understandable since most of them are boring and filled with stupid dialogue." Itachi rolled his eyes and smiled a little at Sasuke. He kissed the boy gently on the forehead making him gain a little color in his cheeks.

" How fun." Itachi mused as he went back behind the couch, retrieving the alcohol. " But I assure you, this will be much better than stupid horror movies and bleh, bleh, blehs."

" Eh, Sasuke, I think Itachi is making fun of me again." The blond whined and Kyuubi smirked a little, laying on top of his little brother. His body was holding Naruto's down against the couch, making him almost lay face first in the cushions.

" When aren't we making fun of you?" Kyuubi questioned.

" When we're making fun of you." Naruto replied making the red head shove his head down in the cushions. The two Uchihas shook their heads forcing the Uzumakis up, and onto their own section of the couch. Naruto leaned back in Kyuubi's lap, playing with one of the stray red hairs that brushed against his cheek. Itachi leaned forward, resting his chin on Sasuke's head, giving him the occasional kiss on the top. The little Uchiha would blush a little whenever his brother did that and it amused Itachi to no end. " So, where's the promised items?"

Itachi smirked a little and pulled out a bottle of Tarantula(4) and then pointed to the twenty four pack next to the table. " Kyuubi, open the bottle. I'll go get the shot glasses and soda." The red head nodded and took the bottle from the Uchiha. He twisted the top off and took a sniff of it. It was blue raspberry and was going to be quite the sensation. Itachi walked back into the room, handing everyone a soda and a shot glass. Sasuke looked slightly skeptical at his brother but he had a sweet smile on his lips so the younger couldn't help but comply.

" Why do we have to start with the hard stuff? Won't it be easier to start with the beer? By the time we kill it, I'll be too drunk to notice the burn of that stuff." Sasuke muttered making a face at the bottle of blue liquid.

Kyuubi shook his head. " Haven't you ever heard the old saying? 'Liquor before beer you're in the clear. Beer before liquor will get you sicker.'"

" Is that even true?" Naruto questioned, he leaned his head back, a skeptical look on his face but Kyuubi rolled his eyes and kissed Naruto softly on the nose.

" Itachi and I have been drinking WAY longer than you two, just do as we say and you'll be fine." Kyuubi said placing his shot glass on the table. He moved towards it, pouring himself a shot. He opened his soda filling his mouth with it before taking his shot and swallowing, he breathed out and looked at the other expectantly. " Who's next?"  
>-<p>

**An Entire Fifth of Tarantula Later…**

Sasuke was giggling and he couldn't stop. He had just opened his first beer, taking only brief sip before setting it on the table next to Itachi's. Which made Sasuke wonder exactly where his brother had gone, he had remembered that Itachi had been sitting behind him for a little while but now his brother had mysteriously vanished. He looked around the room, only seeing Naruto on the other side of the couch, taking a swig of his second beer.

" It's retardedly hot in here!" Sasuke whined, kicking his leg like a child.

" You're retardedly hot!" Naruto said with a smirk at the Uchiha sitting across from him on the couch. Sasuke couldn't help but think that the blond was looking cute. His cheeks were flushed and he had an almost bewildered look on his face, like he had just woke up. He was pouting slightly as he tipped his beer over, the last few drops falling on the floor.

The Uchiha slunk over to Naruto and the blond seemed surprised to see him there. " Sasuke! My man!" The blond hugged him as though he hadn't seen him in years. " Hehe. Sasuke, I'm really drunk."

" Me too!" Sasuke said with a ridiculously happy smile on his face. He hugged Naruto, falling backwards, pulling the blond onto him. They both giggled uncontrollably. Naruto ran his hand through Sasuke's hair and the Uchiha was practically purring with pleasure at the feeling. " You know, I think Itachi and Kyuubi disappeared to do something dirty and that's rude since they didn't include us!"

" Yeah those bastards! We should exclude them from something…But what?" They both got quiet for a moment, looking as though they were lost in thought and Sasuke leaned up, kissing Naruto ever so softly. The blond was stunned for a moment before returning the gesture. Both of them were giggling as they kissed each other, not thinking much of it.

Itachi and Kyuubi were shocked at the scene in front of them. They both weren't that drunk but their brothers were a completely different story. They were confused, clumsy, and didn't seem to fully register their surroundings, since Itachi and Kyuubi were sitting on the ground, right next to the couch. Itachi blinked a little, grabbing his beer. He decided to enjoy the show and from the look on Kyuubi's face, Itachi could only surmise that his friend was enjoying it too.

" Awesome." Was Kyuubi's response as he saw Naruto and Sasuke sucking each other's faces. " This is why Sasuke is ranked number two on my list." Itachi nodded his head until the full weight of the words set in; he turned his head towards Kyuubi who also took a minute to register what he said.

" What list?" Itachi practically yelled, Naruto and Sasuke pulled off of each other and look at their brothers who were sitting next to each other. Kyuubi had his hands up by his face as a means of defending himself from the blows he knew Itachi was going to deliver.

" Not in the face!" Kyuubi yelled trying to crawl away from Itachi. The older Uchiha wasn't having it and grabbed his friend's leg, pulling him back to his original spot. He laid on his back with Itachi's frame sitting much higher than him. He had never particularly been the focal point of one of Itachi's glares and he now knew why people were so very terrified of Uchiha Itachi. That glare was a death sentence.

" Kyuubi…" The calmness of Itachi's voice was being betrayed by the murderous look on his face and it made the red head want to cry and scream. He had been seriously considering both things for a few seconds and they seemed to be the best options Kyuubi had. " Tell me about your list."

" Uhh, well…It's uh…" Kyuubi stuttered, rubbing the back of his head. A small blush had formed on his features and it wasn't because of the alcohol. " It's of all the people I would prefer to sleep with…"

" Eh?" Sasuke muttered, narrowing his eyes at the red head. " I'm on a list of people you'd sleep with?"

" Of course. Since Naruto is the love of my life and my bottom bitch, he's number one." Kyuubi said, trying desperately to avoid the even more angry death glare he was receiving. Itachi seemed even more furious that when they started.

" Number one bitches!" Naruto yelled but then he retracted into himself when he thought about the true meaning of those words. " HEY!"

" And then it's Sasuke because, well, look at that face." Kyuubi said pointing at the now pouting Uchiha. " Even when he's completely hammered, he can still make such adorable faces…And of course third on my list is you, Itachi." The older blinked a few times, pulling his fist back, giving Kyuubi plenty of time to see it. " NO! Don't punch me! If anything it's a compliment. I didn't even make my own list!" Itachi gave him a look that said 'if-you-want-to-live-stop-while-you're-ahead'.

" The best laid plans often go awry..." Itachi muttered as he cracked his knuckles. Kyuubi squeaked a little, about to run away from the Uchiha when Sasuke pointed at them accusingly.

" I knew it!" Both Itachi and Kyuubi turned seeing Sasuke pointing at them, smirking a little. " There was a reason you were trying to get us drunk! You want to have a foursome." Naruto looked shocked for a moment but then he was smirking just as wide as the Uchiha.

" You're a genius Sasuke!" Naruto cried with glee, hugging his best friend. " Why couldn't I be with you and not super stupid Kyuubi?"

" Why can't I be with you instead of abstinent Itachi? You'd have sex with me, right Naruto?" The blond nodded his head and giggled a little as Sasuke muttered darkly, sending a slight glare in Itachi's direction. Kyuubi had sat back up at that point and was about to say something when they started making out on the couch again. Kyuubi was confused and looked over at Itachi who was shaking his head, he held up three fingers.

" Drunk, horny, teenagers." With every word one finger would go down and Kyuubi understood very well then. Itachi sighed. " Naruto never had much of a filter and whatever was left of it was just thrown out the window. The same kinda goes with Sasuke; his words are generally more controlled but now the filter is obsolete. Don't take it too personal Kyuubi, teenagers are hurtful creatures. Especially under the influence…"

" You know," Naruto muttered in between kisses with Sasuke. " I would like to have a threesome with you and your brother. I bet it would be hot." Sasuke shrugged a little, petting Naruto's blond hair. " I mean Itachi is kinda scary sometimes but I bet he's a fantastic lover." Sasuke couldn't help but giggle a little at that, the blush on his cheeks intensified and Itachi licked his lips.

Kyuubi had a shocked expression on his face; his entire plan had backfired. He would never get Naruto and Sasuke in bed with him at this rate. They would most likely end up with Itachi and he would enjoy both of their companies to the fullest. He mentally cursed Itachi for being so sexy and alluring to drunk teenagers. Though, Itachi didn't exactly seem enthused about the news that Naruto was very ready and willing to sleep with him. Kyuubi could only guess it was because he wasn't drunk enough yet.

" Does that mean the two of you would have a threesome with Kyuu?" The red head said, extremely hopeful. Naruto and Sasuke both frowned a shook their heads and then giggled uncontrollably. Itachi was right, teenagers were evil. And he needed another few beers if he was going to deal with them.  
>-<p>

**A Whole Twenty Four Pack Later**

Itachi was feeling, well, mighty fine if he didn't say so himself. Kyuubi and Naruto had gone off together, somewhere and were probably doing stupid, drunk things like hooking up. Not that Itachi minded too much, he could just sit here on the couch with Sasuke and make out, an activity he was currently engaged in. He ran his hand through Sasuke's hair but when it came out quickly something clicked in his mind; Sasuke's hair was never this soft. Something his little brother always hated, no matter how much conditioner he used, no matter how many times he washed it, it was just hair, not like Itachi who had hair like the silk gods.

And another things had been bothering him; Sasuke wasn't this short. Itachi had actually pulled his neck back a little while he was kissing and that had never been a problem unless they were leaning into each other, which they weren't. And that only pointed to one solid conclusion. This was not Sasuke.

Naruto moaned a little into the kiss, feeling strong hands on his chest, pawing at him. He thought that was kind of strange, Kyuubi always just went for it, he wasn't the type to pussy foot around, even when it was foreplay.

He put his hand on Kyuubi's back and instead of feeling his wild mane of hair, he felt a pony tail, loosely pulled back. Naruto knew for a fact that Kyuubi, _rarely, _ever had a pony tail which meant…This wasn't Kyuubi.

Both of them pulled back, opening their eyes for the first time. They blinked at each other and then screamed.(5) Naruto pushed Itachi off of him and started to furiously wipe at his mouth. Itachi shook his head, willing any sense of arousal away. He didn't even remember how this happened.

'_Wow, I must be pretty wasted then.'_ Itachi thought as he shakily got to his feet. He spied a beer can on the floor where Kyuubi had been sitting and the memory came flooding back to him. Kyuubi bet him that he wouldn't be able to kiss Naruto and hold his breath for a whole minute; he had foolishly accepted of course and he could only surmise that after a while of kissing he had forgot what he was doing and who he was kissing. He knew it was rare for him to get so drunk that he actually forgot things but it wasn't like it hadn't happened before. He looked back at Naruto who was blushing. But as suddenly as the blush appeared, it was replaced with a look of realization. Itachi caught on within seconds. Because of the scare, he was far more sober now.(6)

" KYUUBI IS WITH SASUKE!" Both of them yelled in unison. Naruto jumped off the couch, running behind Itachi who was darting up the stairs to where the rooms were. He kicked in Sasuke's bedroom door; it was empty. He ran across the hall, kicking in his own bedroom as well. Kyuubi was laying in Itachi's bed, snoring and looking as though he had a very rough time. Itachi was about to beat Kyuubi to death when he realized Sasuke wasn't in the bed with him. Which left one mystery, where the hell was Sasuke?  
>-<p>

Sasuke blinked confusedly. He had no idea when, but he managed to end up in the bathroom. He didn't have to go so why was he in here? He scratched his head and turned around, catching a glance at himself in the mirror. His lips were slightly bruised from kissing Naruto for so long, and there was a mark on his neck from Itachi.

The younger laughed a little. Itachi definitely was far more funny when he was drunk, not to mention possessive. He was even protecting Naruto from Kyuubi, it was hilarious. He hoped Itachi wouldn't remember and that he would so he could tell his brother all about it. It was quite fun if he didn't say so himself.

Sasuke exited the bathroom, stumbling a little and instantly spotted Itachi shaking Kyuubi with Naruto at his side; even the blond looked pissed. He blinked a little, coming to stand right next to his brother.

" How could you loose him Kyuubi? What kind of seducer looses the seducee?" Itachi yelled, making the red head pull away from the Uchiha and try to escape. It wasn't working. Itachi's vice like grip was not something easily escaped from. Kyuubi decided to go completely limp in Itachi's grip, looking as though he had passed out. Itachi stopped shaking him and looked his friend over, he hadn't meant to make him pass out. Kyuubi opened his eyes instantly and smirked.

" Playing opossum(7)." Naruto muttered. " He does that to me all the time when I'm going to beat him up. It's a natural reaction to feel sorry for something that's passed out or seems to be dead; you'll want to leave it alone."

" Ah, that's genius." Itachi muttered slamming Kyuubi against the wall. " But not good enough!"

" Itachi, what's going on?" Sasuke asked, eyeing his brother suspiciously.

" Not now Sasuke…SASUKE!" Itachi let go of Kyuubi and grabbed Sasuke around the waist, picking him up and spinning him around. " We were so worried about you! We have no idea where you were!"

" I somehow managed to end up in the bathroom…" Sasuke muttered. " I don't remember much before that."

" Oh yeah, that's why I came up here." Kyuubi said as though a giant realization about the world had been explained to him. " Sasuke had been gone for a pretty long time and I came to check on him to make sure he hadn't hurt himself, and then I got distracted by your bed because it is just so damn comfortable."

Itachi rolled his eyes, setting Sasuke on the floor, only to pick him up again, bridal style. " Sorry, I had to readjust." Itachi muttered as he pushed his way through Kyuubi and Naruto. He dumped Sasuke on his bed and leap on top of him. Kyuubi shut the door and grabbed Naruto around the waist, a smirk on his face.

" It's just you, me, and the guest room now." The blond blushed a little as he was pulled into the room by his brother.

Itachi gave Sasuke very gentle kisses on his eyelids making the younger shake with anticipation. And when he finally felt his brother's lips on his, his mind went blank. Sasuke's hands reached up, his fingers weaving in Itachi's hair. His finger scrapped against Itachi's scalp making the older shiver with pleasure. Itachi couldn't put his finger on it but for some reason this was feeling better than it usually did. He could only think it was because he hadn't done this with Sasuke in about a week.

He nibbled on Sasuke's bottom lip, asking for entrance which was instantly granted by Sasuke. His body was twitching with pleasure underneath Itachi, the skillful movements of his tongue sending liquid fire through his veins so it would pool in his stomach and fuel his arousal even further. Sasuke whined, his grip on Itachi's hair getting even tighter as his mouth was practically fucked by Itachi's tongue.

Sasuke whined, grinding against Itachi with pent up lust. Itachi knew then that there were too many clothes covering their bodies. He pulled away from his brother and grabbed the hem of his shirt, pulling it over his head before discarding it. Sasuke's hands were upon him in an instant. His soft little fingers drifted down his stomach to his jeans; he grabbed the belt and undid it. Sasuke started to pulled them down but they got stuck at Itachi's knees. Itachi cursed the fact he had worn his skinny jeans. After a few seconds of struggling, he managed to get himself free of the fabric. Since he wore his skinny jeans, he didn't bother to wear underwear. Sasuke was greeted fully with the sight of Itachi's dripping arousal. His small, pink tongue darted out of his mouth, wanting very much to give it a strong lick.

Itachi 'tsk'ed softly and started to remove Sasuke's clothes. Once Sasuke was fully nude and staring at his brother lustfully, Itachi decided that Sasuke shouldn't be the only one getting the pleasure. He flipped them over so he was on his back and Sasuke was straddling his waist; the blush on his cheeks was adorable.

" You know what I want, right?" Sasuke looked away a little, the embarrassment making his face that much more flushed. Sasuke knew quite well and he turned himself around, making sure to spread his legs in front of Itachi. The older sighed lustfully. Sasuke's hole was quivering with desire and Itachi gently brushed his thumb against it making his brother moaned and writhe.

Sasuke loved the way Itachi's cock looked. When it was fully hard it stood stiffly, the whole thing looking almost powerful, not to mention that the head got a slightly red tip and he knew that meant his brother wanted it, very, very much. Sasuke gave it a soft kiss before pressing it against his lips. The soft pouting lips made Itachi grunt with excitement. It was rare for Sasuke to blow him, generally Itachi was too focused on Sasuke's pleasure to even ask for something like this.

Itachi licked Sasuke's hole and smirked a little as he saw his little brother's leg shake. He prodded the tight hole with his tongue, shoving it in and out, watching it quiver lustfully. Sasuke moaned; not only was Itachi licking him but he was also fondling his balls. He was feeling so good right now that he wanted Itachi to feel the same. Sasuke opened his mouth and took in the head of Itachi's cock, loving how Itachi's breath hitched. Itachi shoved the first finger into Sasuke's hole, smirking at how it squeezed around him. He couldn't wait for something else to be in there; the second and third fingers went in without a single whine of pain. Sasuke was already moaning wildly, the thrusts of Itachi's fingers were sending him closer and closer to the edge.

The muscles in Sasuke's stomach were starting to strain from him holding in his orgasm. He was moaning louder and louder with every thrust of Itachi's fingers and the vibrations of the moans were making Itachi shiver with pleasure. Sasuke was moaning around his cock and the suction and vibrations was almost enough to make him blow his load right then but he knew he had to hold it; he was going to fill Sasuke, submerge him in pleasure.

" Sasuke, do you want it…Here?" With that final thrust of Itachi's fingers, Sasuke lost himself, coming onto Itachi's chest. Itachi continued to stretch Sasuke, hitting his prostate and milking Sasuke for all of his worth. He was shaking with his release and Itachi flipped him onto his back. He spread Sasuke's legs, grinding his erection into the already dripping hole. Sasuke was moaning like a bitch in heat, his erection springing back to life as Itachi entered him. He arched up, getting used to the feel of his brother.

He had almost forgot how good it felt to be filled by something other than fingers. He was panting as Itachi started to move, sliding in and out of his brother at a very slow, steady pace. Sasuke gripped the sheets of Itachi's bed, whining and starting to move against Itachi.

The older took that as a good sign and started to pick up the pace, loving how the slapping of skin on skin mixed together with the moans and creaking of his bed. It really had been too long since he had made love to Sasuke.

Sasuke wrapped his legs around Itachi's waist making the Uchiha go even deeper inside of his brother, both of them panting with the pleasure shooting up their spines. Sasuke's vision was turning blurry from all the direct thrusts against his prostate; he decided to just shut his eyes but as soon as he did they were forced open by the combined pleasure of Itachi's thrusts and his hand around his cock. It was dripping with pearls of pre-cum and Itachi smirked a little; Sasuke's body sure was responsive.

Itachi pulled Sasuke's legs off his waist and flipped his brother around so he was on his hands and knees. He shoved his engorged cock back into his hole and was greeted with the loudest scream of pleasure he had ever received from Sasuke. The younger was groaning shamelessly as he thrusted back on Itachi's rod. The older blinked a little at Sasuke's sudden ferocity but then he just smirked knowing that his brother was once again extremely close to orgasm. Sasuke raised himself up slightly, knocking Itachi onto his back. Sasuke smirked as he straddled Itachi's waist. He descended on his brother's cock, whimpering with pleasure at the new angles and feeling.

" Oh gods! Itachi, more! I want it deeper!" He bouncing up and down in Itachi's lap and the older sat up, grabbing Sasuke's waist and forcing him down with the added strength of his arms. Sasuke's hands were to Itachi's shoulders to help himself stay steady as the pleasure practically ripped through him. "Ah! Mm! Ah, fuck me, Itachi, please!"

Itachi felt as though he was going to loose it soon. Sasuke's actions were wild and unexpected, it was a nice change. He dug his nails into Itachi's shoulders nipping the skin but Itachi only used that pain to prolong his orgasm.

Sasuke felt the fire in his gut go out as he released his seed a second time. The muscles tensing around Itachi were too much and he spilled his load into Sasuke's waiting ass. The younger smiled a little slumping over onto Itachi. They kissed very softly before falling onto the bed, sleep looks gracing their features.  
>-<p>

**The Next Day**

Itachi woke up to see Sasuke curled up next to him. But there was something scratching at the door and it was starting to annoy him, he glanced over and saw it was Sharingan, their cat. He had wondered where he had been all night. He must have been sleeping under his bed, the poor thing. Itachi untangled himself from Sasuke who was whined a little before turning over and pulling the blanket over his head.

Sharingan mewed thankfully as Itachi opened the door, letting him out. He blinked a little, spotting Naruto going down the stairs, the two of them paused for a moment, realizing that they were both naked. Before Naruto could scream and wake up Sasuke, Itachi slammed the door. He heard footfalls and a door closing with meant Naruto was probably going to get dressed before venturing downstairs again. It was a good plan.

Sasuke moaned, sitting up in Itachi's bed. He was rubbing the sleep from his eyes and it made Itachi's heart melt. Sasuke didn't know how cute he could be. Itachi smiled at his little brother and the boy returned a blush, as though he had just realized what had happened between them.

" I don't see why you picked last night to have sex with me, I'm ready to go whenever, no matter the circumstances." Sasuke muttered, pulling his knees into his chest. Itachi rolled his eyes.

" I don't want to just sleep with you, Sasuke." Itachi muttered shaking his head. " I thought you understood that when I told you about how I felt the first time. I love you Sasuke and as far as I'm concerned, love goes a hell of a lot farther than having sex. So there may be nights where I am tired and I just want to cuddle with you and kiss you. Maybe just sit on the couch and watch stupid movies. Or, you know, have hot monkey sex while Naruto and Kyuubi are in the house."

Sasuke blushed a little more, rubbing the back of his head, but he was smiling and to Itachi, that was all that really matter. As long as Sasuke didn't regret his choices, Itachi would never feel guilty.

A knock on the door pulled Itachi out of his thoughts and he grabbed his discard pair of pants, pulling it over his naked form as he opened the door. Sasuke found his clothes as well, putting them on as Kyuubi stood on the other side of the door, looking as though he had been through Hell and back.

" Itachi, I'm so hung over, will you make me breakfast?" He asked pathetically and the Uchiha rolled his eyes as Sasuke got out of the bed, limping slightly as he made his way over to Itachi's side.

" Yes, I'll make everyone breakfast. Go downstairs and I'll be there in a minute." Kyuubi nodded motioning for Naruto, now fully dressed, to follow him down. Itachi shut the door again turning to smile at Sasuke, who, even though looked completely disheveled, was still the most adorable creature he had ever seen.

" I love you, Sasuke." Itachi said poking Sasuke in the forehead. The younger started to pout a little, rubbing the sore spot on his forehead but there was still that little smile on his lips.

" I love you too." He replied giving Itachi a small kiss on the cheek. There was a brief silence between them and Sasuke blinked a little. " You're going to mess with Kyuubi's food aren't you?"

" Well I had originally planned to just make a lot of noise but Naruto looks hung over as well, and I'm not mad at him...Don't worry I'll make our food separate from Kyuubi's."

" Sometimes I wonder whether or not to be amused by you, or scared." Sasuke said with a slight shake of the head.

" I'll never do anything to hurt you Sasuke, so I would just sit back and enjoy the hilariously evil things I do to my friends." Itachi replied as he opened the door, walking out into the hall.  
>-<p>

**1. Arthur's World of Flapjacks and Syrup- Originally I was going to have the Good Burger thing( welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order!) but instead I was like, nah, I wanna be more random and that's what ya got!  
>2. "No sir, we don't serve fries or shakes"- it can be assumed that Kyuubi asked for fries with his shake, which is, you know, a pick up line.<br>3. The bleh, bleh, bleh- There are two parts; one is from Charlie the Unicorn 3 and the other is just from the fact that I can totally see Naruto tuning out the dialogue of a movie so he won't know the killer's name or the background…since I kinda do it too if those parts are boring.  
>4. Tarantula- It's a kind of tequila. And yes, it actually is blue and comes in other flavors, like strawberry which is pink.<br>5. Itachi screamed- Yes, very unlike him, however, he was startled and you do unexpected things when you're drunk.  
>6. More sober- Itachi had an adrenaline rush because of his experience with Naruto so his head was clearer so he could think about things without it be muddle by the alcohol.<br>7. " Play opossum"- Dinner for Schmucks reference. :D I love that movie very much. If you haven't seen it, I suggest it. Anyway, it was mentioned in the movie that people don't like to punish things that they think are dead, which is why Kyuubi plays dead, which is also a trick of the opossum. **

**Happy Birthday Sasuke!  
>Sasuke: -grumbles- Thanks I guess...<br>Itachi: Yes, Thank you Hitoko-sama.  
>Me: Oh no need to thank me, my lovelies. This was all your pleasure. This was Hitoko-sama.<br>**


End file.
